Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Chasing Dreams

Do you ever fall behind, feel like you will never be caught up again, feel OVERWHELMED? That's what I'm experiencing lately. The northwoods winter, which is usually neverending, suddenly IS ending. Between rain and snow showers, suddenly all I have done seems so small compared to what is left to do. The Task List grows daily until I don't know where to start!

What I am feeling is the excitement of what I committed to this summer, and fear that I won't be able to meet my self-imposed goals. I need to change my focus to what I am able to do each day, and what I will accomplish in the coming weeks.

What I need is an updated list of every last thing needing to be done (and projected completion dates) and then make a realistic list to work from each day. I do have a list and update it periodically, but with the coming time crunch, I'm going to need to make this a daily habit. Checking off each item as it is done brings satisfaction and gives me concrete evidence that I am, indeed, making progress.

It isn't the weaving, I love sitting at the loom and watching the inches of fabric gliding under the breast beam and protective board, periodically measuring the piece to see how much is left to go, thinking ahead to the next piece, or project. Right now, it's knowing a loom needs more work, warps, followed by threading. It's those last 300 heddles waiting to be finished, finally reaching the goal of 4,000 (divided between two looms), and knowing 1,000 to 2,000 pattern heddles still need to be made. It's the cones of sock yarns calling to me to sit down at the sock machine and crank for a few hours each day.



The spinning wheels are calling to me, as are bags of fleece waiting to be felted, like the Coopworth above. Why is it when we have goals to accomlish, work to be done, deadlines to be met, those siren calls of distraction call loudest? They are going to have to wait just a bit longer. I will resist, and take care of what needs to be done first.

Maybe my age has something to do with it? Oh, do we really have to go there? I'm slowing down physically, I know that, but in my head, I'm still relatively young, and still think I can do anything I set my mind to. And for the most part I can, I just keep forgetting it all takes longer! My love of fibers and textiles also keeps me from remembering that anything, anything involving fibers takes longer than I think it will. You would think I would have learned by now?

People always ask, "how long did it take to make that?" Sometimes I know. Twenty-five minutes per sock on the sock machine, each, then perhaps 20 minutes each to close toes. If they are asking about a piece of weaving, well, I tend not to keep track of those hours. I am slowly learning to be more efficient in what I do, but as I do one-of-a-kind pieces, from the same warp, not long production runs of the same exact piece, over and over, I fall somewhere in-between.

Tomorrow I will begin again, with a current priority list next to my open calendar, and see how much can be done, and done well. Chasing my dreams.

7 comments:

charlotte said...

I think I know that overwhelming feeling too, and I am quite young. There are so many projects and daily chores, and time slips just away!

Peg in South Carolina said...

Oh so I know the feeling..........you described it perfectly. Thanks for sharing. It's always nice to know one is not alone.

Janice Zindel said...

We can't let those feelings get the best of us. I felt a lot better after writing that post.

I've got my list today, staying focused on what I'm getting done, and Rockin' and Weavin' to the Oldies on the radio. I usually prefer classical or Gregorian chant, but today (another gray day) this is keeping me moving.

Life Looms Large said...

Your post is interesting....I definitely get those overwhelmed feelings - about things I want to create, things I want to do, chores I should do....you name it.

I've been really working at coming up with a sustainable way to not pressure myself, but still get things done. For me that has meant focusing on things in manageable chunks, and not worrying about the end date. It takes as long as it takes. (I don't always feel that way, but I set up my work so that's true - no big deadlines!!)

This is a huge change from my 30's when I was very deadline driven and crazed and stressed. Now I want to create things, but I don't want to be a drill sergeant about it!

You're definitely not alone in those feelings, or in the struggle to find a manageable way to work and get things done!!

I love hearing about the challenges other weavers face - both technical and otherwise. It helps me to continue working at it, knowing I'm not the only one! Thanks for putting this topic out there!!

Glad you're not feeling as overwhelmed after writing about it!

Sue

Terrie said...

I was having one of those overwhelming days myself and sat down at the computor and started looking at weaving blogs. Thats when I read yours. Thank you for sharing. It is nice to know we are not alone.

Life Looms Large said...

Thanks for blogging about your creative journey! I put an award for you in my blog, so hopefully some of my blog friends will become your blog friends!

Sue

Janice Zindel said...

Thank you, Sue, and everyone, for sharing your feelings of being overwhelmed in your work and life.

When I wrote that, I was writing about my creative work, but this week it went beyond that, and expect I'll be writing a bit about that, too.

I am so looking forward to being back in the studio and at my looms, but right now, caring for my family comes first.